Woman walks up to local artist at bar, asks to sing. When he tells her no, she does it anyway
There’s a simple etiquette that one should follow when seeing a live performer: Unless called upon, you shouldn’t try to interact with them.
While it may seem like fun to try to go up and dance with a performer or yell at them while they’re onstage, it can be both disrespectful and, in some cases, dangerous.
For example, singer Bebe Rexha was performing when an overly excited fan threw his phone at her, causing her to end the show early and resulting in his arrest for assault. Incidents like these are seemingly on the rise as well; many say poor concert behavior has gotten worse in recent years, and sites like Reddit are filled with discussions about a perceived decline in concert etiquette.
One doesn’t need to be a world-famous musician to deal with such actions, as TikTok user Aaron W Evans (@aaronwevans) recently shared in a video with over 5 million views.
What did this woman do to this singer?
In his video, Evans shows himself performing a cover of “Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” when he’s approached by a woman.
“A woman came up to me mid-song and asked me to move up so she could sing into my microphone,” he writes in the text overlaying the video.
As the video continues, one can see Evans reject the woman’s advances, yet the woman continues to get closer and request to sing. Eventually, Evans has no choice but to move slightly to make way for the woman after she repeatedly attempts to push into his space.
“Please be respectful, and know the correct boundaries,” Evans asks of those watching, noting that he had thousands of dollars worth of equipment on stage that she could have damaged or tripped on.
Why were this woman’s actions wrong?
After this video went viral, Evans posted a follow-up video explaining why something as seemingly innocuous as what this woman did can cause problems for performers like himself.
For example, he notes that, while some commenters suggested he diffuse the situation by letting her sing, he states that this would only make matters worse.
“You can see in the video..she's completely inebriated,” he explains. “If I'd have let her up onto the stage and to sing, that then does a couple of things. One, it gives everybody else in the room the impression that you can come up and do it as well, which is not what I want.”
@aaronwevans Normalise not getting in a musicians personal space 🫣 . #music #musician #newmusic #musiciansoftiktok #soloartist #acoustic #acousticcovers #acousticguitar #pubmusician #gig #singer #localmusic #fyp #viralvideos #tik_tok ♬ original sound - AWE Music
“All of my equipment is bought through the business, it's all insured through the business,” he adds later. “The next point is that, [if] she comes up and I invite her to sing, I give her that microphone, if she then falls over and damages something — which is highly likely because she's completely inebriated, she can barely stand up — that then completely invalidates my insurance. My insurance aren't going to pay out on damages because I've given her that microphone.”
As his follow-up progresses, he notes that it doesn’t matter if the woman is a good singer. He is the one being paid to perform, and his area is set up for him alone. Inviting someone else unexpectedly into that roped-off area can cause problems for everyone involved.
Regarding why security didn’t stop this woman from approaching him, Evans says that this is a venue he plays frequently and that the staff are “absolutely brilliant”; they were simply dealing with another issue inside at the time of filming.
Finally, Evans claims that some commenters claimed it was “always women” doing something like this.
“That's not true,” he declares simply. “This video is of a middle-aged woman doing it, but I could have so many examples where it's men as well — drunken men that have come up and done the exact same thing.”
The musician responds
In an Instagram DM exchange with the Daily Dot, Evans clarified that this was the last song of his set. As a result, no further action was taken. However, he did note that a woman who had attended with the perpetrator apologized to him.
He also said that the woman was not someone he recognized from any previous performances.
"I post clips all the time performing in all of the venues I play at and certainly didn’t expect this clip to blow up how it has," he shared. "The venue this clip is from is a brilliant venue with brilliant staff and top-notch security. Nothing like this EVER happens at their venue! Unfortunately, they can’t have eyes everywhere, these things happen sometimes!"
As for whether he believes crowd behavior has gotten worse in general, he says it's "tricky" to judge.
"Although I was gigging before COVID, I was only doing it once a week tops, whereas now I’m doing it professionally multiple times a week," he shared. "These incidents definitely occur more regularly for me now, but that could be down to the equation being the more you put yourself out there, the more likely you will encounter these kinds of things."
Commenters share their thoughts
In the comments section, users shared their thoughts about the incident.
“Let's hope she sees this and realises that what she looks like, seriously cringe,” wrote a user.
“The people defending her are the types of people who feel entitled to go up there,” added another.
“You don’t need to explain you were at work and you said no. People need to understand that no means no and people are allowed to say no to you,” stated a third.
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